How much do you feel yourself listened to?
Listening and leadership
On one hand, active listening has been a major topic in a lot a leadership books for years; we already know many things about listening and how it affects our efficiency as managers and leaders. On the other hand, when was the last time you felt someone was really listening? Not that recently I bet, it doesn’t happen that often, (except during your coaching sessions I would hope). In order to be listened to, we also need to be good listeners ourselves , this is why I highly encourage you to watch this short Ted by Julien Treasure: 5 ways to listen better.
We spend roughly 60 percent of our communication time listening but on average we retain only 25 percent of the information we receive. In my opinion, our immersion in the digital world decreases that percentage even further with all those computers and mobile in our meeting rooms or active during our 1/1. Instant communication and readings are certainly damaging our ability to be present and to listen to the people we are with. But what is listening? According to Julien Treasure it is the process that creates meaning from sounds; it is a process of extraction. Of course we have techniques to focus and engage like pattern recognition, differencing or filtering. But still, our listening skills are decaying, mainly for the following reasons:
We invented different ways to record information, in consequence, we quickly lose interest in actively listening as we receive information since we can hear or read the same thing over and over again.
We are evolving in overstimulating environments that make listening especially tiring.
Our attention span is damaged and we are impatient; medias are screaming at us to grab our attention and we are losing our capability to pay attention to the quiet, the subtle and the understated.
We are self centered in our personal bubbles with our mobiles and headset.
The art of conversation is often replaced by personal broadcasting.
How to get back our listening?
Julien Treasure proposes us 5 simple exercises:
Enjoy the silence, before or after listening to “Depeche Mode”.. It let you reset your ears and to re-calibrate
Focus your listening in a noisy environment, how many channel you can you differentiate? It is a way to regenerate your differencing abilities
Savor and enjoy mundane sounds, take your time with this
Find the right listening position whilst keeping in touch with what you are doing
Use the RASA or juicy method: Receive or pay attention, Appreciate or show attention, Summarize or check your understanding and finally Ask questions to gain a better understanding.
It looks so simple and however we experience every day the feeling of not being listened to. As a coach I will add those 2 tips:
Decide consciously to listen before interacting, tell yourself your intention is to fully listen to your interlocutor. Being present is a gift which generates engagement and motivation in a conversation.
Turn off all your electronic devices to focus on the persons you are conversing with
It looks very simple but will we do it? Would you mind sharing with me your own tips for listening carefully or, even better, for being listened to?
And finally, if you want to test my listening abilities as your coach: Contact Think You