Harnessing Emotions for Energy: Insights from Ethan Kross on Coaching and Emotion Regulation
(Coaching for Leaders: better manage your emotions by Ethan Kross)
Emotions are often seen as forces that drain us, hijacking our thoughts and leaving us exhausted. However, what if we could harness them as sources of energy, rather than letting them deplete us? Ethan Kross, an expert in emotion regulation and author of Chatter and Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You, provides powerful tools for coaching individuals on navigating emotions effectively. His insights, combined with the expertise of Susan David, a psychologist and author of Emotional Agility, and Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott, the author of Transformational Life Coaching, shed light on the immense potential of emotional flexibility in coaching.
The Power of Emotional Flexibility
Many people assume they must either confront their emotions head-on or suppress them entirely. Kross challenges this binary thinking, advocating for emotional flexibility—the ability to shift between engaging with and stepping back from emotions strategically. Susan David emphasizes the importance of embracing emotional agility, encouraging individuals to navigate their emotions with mindfulness, compassion, and acceptance. Similarly, Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott highlights the significance of adapting one's emotional responses to different situations, promoting emotional flexibility as a cornerstone of personal growth.
Tools for Managing Emotions in Coaching
In a coaching setting, guiding clients to regulate emotions effectively can lead to enhanced clarity, resilience, and productivity. Kross introduces several key strategies, which are further complemented by Susan David's emphasis on emotional agility and Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott's principles of adaptation and growth:
🔹 Distant Self-Talk – Speaking to oneself in the third person or using one’s name ("Sarah, you can handle this") creates psychological distance, reducing emotional intensity and enhancing problem-solving. I really think it is one of the most powerful tools to harness our emotions: talking to ourselves, coaching ourselves by asking the right questions.
🔹 Mental Time Travel – Shifting perspective by imagining how one will feel about an issue in a week, month, or year helps place challenges in context and reduces immediate distress. Stepping back: tomorrow is another day, or even better, let's see the situation from someone else's perspective.
🔹 Environmental Shaping – Adjusting surroundings (e.g., reducing exposure to negative news, curating uplifting content, or incorporating energizing music) helps regulate emotions without direct confrontation. Firstly, of course, we think about controlling our exposure to social media and its dopamine effect. Choosing what we want to be exposed to is a great step.
🔹 Cognitive Reframing – Shifting perspective from "This is a disaster" to "This is a challenge I can grow from" alters emotional responses and fosters resilience. Not so far from positive thinking, here we can engage in a debate with our inner voice instead of letting it manage the situation.
🔹 Sensory Shifters – Engaging with stimuli like music, scents, or movement can quickly change emotional states, making them powerful tools for real-time regulation.
Emotions as a Source of Strength
By learning how to shift emotions rather than suppress them, individuals can transform their emotional energy into motivation, focus, and confidence. Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott emphasizes how emotional flexibility and resilience are key ingredients for thriving in the face of challenges, and Susan David underscores the importance of emotional agility in fostering adaptability and well-being. Rather than being at the mercy of emotions, coaching with these strategies enables individuals to use emotions as fuel for action, creativity, and success.
As coaches, trainers, or leaders, integrating these tools into your practice can empower others to move from emotional exhaustion to emotional empowerment. The key lies not in eliminating emotions but in learning how to harness their power effectively, as advocated by Ethan Kross, Susan David, and Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott. Their collective wisdom illuminates the path toward embracing and leveraging emotions as a force for personal and professional growth.
What’s Your Take?
Wondering how you can turn your emotions into sources of energy and strength rather than drains? Learn practical strategies from experts like Ethan Kross, Susan David, and Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott on managing emotions effectively and leveraging them for personal growth and empowerment. Share your insights and experiences on harnessing emotions for energy in the comments below!
My personal insight: Talk to yourself—you deserve subtlety and nuance!
If this article resonated with you, explore my other articles on emotions and discover how to make them your greatest ally: